She said to me, “I’m being swallowed by motherhood. It feels like I’m drowning. I can’t catch my breath. Is this normal?” I and so many other mothers at yoga that day nodded our heads and agreed. It has been like that for me too. Those waves of stress come crashing again and again, but I’m here to share that if I can overcome them you have the strength within you too.

When I became pregnant with our son, it was after a long road of fertility treatments. Years of hoping led me to the moment I had been waiting for - two pink lines to tell me I was pregnant! Gratitude washed over me because the hard part was finally over, right?

I couldn’t have been more mistaken. Pregnancy was a miraculous experience and I felt empowered at birth as well. But the moment that baby landed in my arms I felt like I had no idea what to do.

Mom in hospital with son and newborn daughter

From sleep deprivation, latch issues, to mastitis, our situation went from bad to worse. Torticollis and tongue ties - I resented the endless appointments to the breastfeeding clinic, doctor, midwife, chiropractor, physio, to name a few. Stress built up in my body and it was triggered every three hours or more by our baby’s cries! The infant stage transitioned into toddlerhood, which was a whole new level of crazy. From there I went on to have a high-risk pregnancy ending in the loss of one of our twin daughters.

I didn’t realize it right away, but the years of fertility challenges, combined with other traumas in earlier life, had left me with a system overloaded by stress. Breastfeeding challenges, a spirited toddler and then an unthinkable loss compounded the stress on my overwhelmed nervous system. Also, I’ve always been one who values sleep and now that I wasn’t getting it, my mental health began to deteriorate.

As a prenatal and postnatal yoga instructor I have the honour of holding space for dozens of mothers on a weekly basis. One thing I’ve always done is shown up in my truth and shared my story of grief and joy combined. Through vulnerable conversations about the beauty and challenge of motherhood, I came to realize I wasn’t alone in feeling like this season of life was swallowing me whole. Motherhood puts a mental load on a woman unparalleled to any other time in her life. Many of us step into this new season of life not realizing the effects of stress, overwhelm and sleep deprivation until we are at our capacity and begin to breakdown.

Mother in hospital with preemie baby girl

Motherhood has rocked me to my core, but I’ve used my pain and struggle to find a whole new sense of purpose in life. I’ve overcome my mental health challenges and now teach other mothers to do the same. A cornerstone of the work I do is to help mothers understand and process stress so they too can activate a higher vision for themselves.

Stress is a normal part of motherhood. We have so many hats to wear at any given moment. The key is to navigate these moments of stress with strategies that allow us to rise to the occasion and then come back down to mother from a state of ease and grace.

My motherhood journey has been far from easy. But it has been the most fulfilling journey of my life. I’ve put together these 5 quick and easy strategies that any mother can implement to reset during moments of stress:

1. Connect with other mamas

Whether this is at a play group, a mom and baby yoga class, or in your existing friend groups - realize that even the most introverted mama will benefit simply from connecting to her community. If you don’t have friends nearby, put a post in a local group on Facebook and ask who wants to go for a walk at the park? I personally know many mamas who’ve created community from this simple gesture of reaching out.

2. Go out in nature

Getting outside and breathing fresh air is so good for you and your children. Let your feet be connected to the earth and use nature as a gift and a tool to ground you in the present moment. Stepping into nature can be like pushing a giant reset button in moments of stress or overwhelm.

3. Find a mantra that works

One of the mamas in my class shared her mantra that has now supported many others in our community: “I am bigger than this moment.” Zoom out and realize that you can and will survive this moment. Each time you do, it builds resilience and strength. When you need to navigate stress again, call on the evidence that you have done it before, and you can choose to stay emotionally grounded in this tough moment too.

4. Get curious about your triggers

We naturally avoid pain and discomfort, but this is where true learning and healing begin. Notice what triggers your stress on a moment to moment basis. Feel into your discomfort and observe how you react outwardly and inwardly. Start to rewrite your thought patterns to overcome your most triggering moments of stress.

5. Prioritize rest

Yes, we’ve all heard it before - sleep when the baby sleeps. But there are a million things “to do” when the baby sleeps. My motto has always been to prioritize rest first, then do the things. This could mean laying down immediately when the baby falls asleep to listen to a guided meditation. Or maybe it is escaping to a restorative yoga class or actually going to bed when the kids do a few times a week. The only one who can choose to prioritize your rest is you. Trust me that making this choice will actually allow everything else on your to do list seem a little bit easier!

The biggest thing you can remember is to be compassionate towards yourself. Yes, it really is just that hard. But guess what? You can do hard things. You can always begin again tomorrow. Your children don’t want a perfect mother - they want you, exactly the way you are!

Bio

Jessica is a motherhood empowerment coach and the creative spirit behind Activated Mama - a community of mamas stepping into their power through motherhood. Jessica helps mothers release stress and activate their inner confidence through yoga, meditation and coaching. She is a certified MOGA™ Mom & Baby Yoga Teacher, HypnoBirthing® Child Birth Educator, RYT200, Prenatal and Postnatal Yoga Teacher and Meditation Coach. Connect with Jessica to learn more about her in person and online programs through Instagram or Facebook.

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